If you were updated about this last Saturday’s events by myself or my mother then you know how horrible I feel. I was yelled at by someone who I have tried to be kind to and who I loved. This woman said the worst thing you could ever say to a soon-to-be-mother on the face of this earth. And for that I will never forgive her nor will I ever forget the years of suffering I have endured trying to make her “like” me. Her words were pure evil and I can only hope that if there is a God that she will get exactly what she deserves in the end. No more, no less. I have tried to understand how a group of people can be so vehemently mean without cause to one another. Each event consists of screams, tears, slamming of doors and as quickly as the storm excalated it is over. Both parties never utter one syllabul of an apology because it is supposed to be an unspoken bond. And yet words as small or as large as they are can hurt; but just as much as they can hurt, they can heal those heart-strings that have been yanked out chord by chord. Too many times I have trusted my heart foolishly in their hands. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice… well, you get the picture.
Writing this has been part of the grieving process. I have lost a part of myself I never imagined losing. But through the writing of the turmoil and the darkness I know I can survive this. I have an amazing support system of kind, caring and loving family that understands the hell that was this Saturday. I will come out of this stronger and will never again let myself be hurt by those that pretend to love me.
