Gabriel and I are extremely lucky: we have the house of our dreams, eachother, and a beautiful baby boy on the way in the next four months!
We have been unlucky in the sense that there are some people in our lives that are not happy for us. People that would want to go back in time and make sure that we never met, married nor are starting a family together. I have had my heartbroken by these people that pretend to love us multiple times in the last six months. There have been two instances that include something either being done or said that is completely unforgivable for a human being to do to another human being.
There has been no remorse for their actions. No consequences for their actions. And worst yet, they think they are in the “right” to feel this way and make no excuses for their behavior. I have struggled with nightmares, stress induced panic attacks when I’m by myself and countless nights of tears the past couple of years because of what they have done and the potential for what they will do in the future.
Writing this blog in general is part of my grieving process for losing that part of our happy life together.
They continue to scream at my husband on the phone almost every time they speak with him. They are extremely manipulative and are masters at the art of guilt and rage. I am the reason that they treat him so awfully and I know in my heart, that if we hadn’t met, that they would NEVER treat him so poorly. I am not the person that they had invisoned for him and for that I will pay the punishment for the rest of my life.
He is my soulmate, best friend and I am so lucky to be with such a great man so I will never bow down to them and leave him. He is my life and my love.
The last three days have been full of countless tears and heartache. The stress that reighns over my body is mindboggling. I have intense cramps whenever we speak about them and they last for hours afterwards.
I just wish, with all my heart, that I had done something to deserve the treatment that I have recieved from these people. Then I might be able to comprehend and understand the hate that they have in their hearts for me. I just wish that I would be the sole victim in this situation instead of Gabriel being dragged down in the depths with me. Gabriel has never deserved any ounce of rage, anger, decietful behavior that he has gotten from those that pretend to love us.
Their behavior would be easier to take, if they just attacked me. Not him. But they only have four more months of being essentially evil before this Mother-to Be will not let them ruin our baby boy’s life. Dirk will never see, nor talk to them, unless they can perform a miracle and 180 on their personal characters, the way they talk to us, and they will have to apologize each time they do something wrong. In a sense they go back to kindergarden and have to follow those simple rules: treat others the way they want to be treated, apologize and mean it when you are wrong or hurt someone, and be a good person/ role model.
In a talk after the first LARGE fiasco, two of them admitted that they do not think that they are role models and will not worry about that when our baby is here. That they will not try to be kinder at holidays because that is just the way they are. And that they do not feel the need to apologize, ever.
So this radical change in the next four months should be possible for people that care about us and love us. Only time will tell if they truly do. Unfortunately, almost all hope is lost in this situation and for that I am completely and utterly terrified that I have let my husband down. Because I am not the person they wanted in their lives, and that has been clear since the night that I met them years ago.
